Unfinished Business Short Story
Jonty woke with a start and sat bolt upright in bed.
Devan stirred at his side. “What’s wrong? What time is it? Two thirty? Bloody hell, Jonty.”
“I had a nightmare. God. It was awful.” He shuddered.
Devan pulled him back down into his arms. “What was it about?”
“I don’t want to think about it.”
“Then go back to sleep.”
“I can’t! I’m too upset.”
Devan kissed his hair. “Tell me what it was about, then I can reassure you that there is no such thing as a man-eating spider, that a sinkhole isn’t going to open up under our bedroom and that there will be another series of The Great Pottery Throw Down on the TV.”
Jonty whined. “Now you’ve given me three other things to worry about.”
Devan groaned. “There are no such things as man-eating spiders. They can’t even lay their eggs in a human. And the chances of a sink hole opening up under the house are really small.”
“There was one on Blyth beach a few years ago.”
“Yeah, but it was only eight-feet deep.”
“Okay. But… The Great Pottery Throw Down? I love Keith so much.”
“I don’t know for certain that will be on again, but it’s such a winning formula, I’m pretty sure it will be. Why do you love Keith so much?”
“Because he cries when he’s happy. On TV! How brave is that?”
“Very brave. Are you sufficiently distracted now? Can I go back to sleep?”
“I have to tell you my dream first. It was worse than all those things. I dreamt I went to the shop to buy some Flakes and they didn’t have any. I went from shop to shop to shop and nobody had any, so I got all panicky like when I lost you in the Gents’ at the motorway service station and I thought you must have been kidnapped but you were outside waiting for me, and that’s when I woke up. It’s an omen, Devan.”
Jonty could feel Devan trying not to laugh.
“It’s not funny.” Jonty put as much indignation into his voice as he could. “I need to go the supermarket now and buy as many packs as I can.”
“You mean you want me to go?”
“Good. You’re not to go either. The nearest 24-hour supermarket is in Newcastle, fifty miles away. Go to sleep.”
Jonty wriggled out of Devan’s arms and grabbed his phone from the bedside table.
Devan yawned and rolled over.
“You’re not showing anywhere near enough concern for someone who’s supposed to be the best boyfriend in the universe,” Jonty said quietly. “I know it was a dream but… Oh my God, Devan. I can’t… You’re not going to believe this. There is a shortage of Flakes. Look!”
Devan rolled back.
Jonty put the phone in front of his face. “There’s been a run on mini-Flakes, the ones that go into ice cream cones to make 99s because of coming out of lockdown after the pandemic. Everyone wanted a 99. Of course they did. Why didn’t Cadbury’s plan for that? I would have.”
“I’m not sure Flakes would have been on my list of must-haves after lockdown eased.”
Jonty stared at him.
Jonty kept staring. “You’re not normal. You don’t even eat a Flake in one go! It says the full-size ones are in short supply too because businesses are buying them to break in half to use instead. I’m psychic. I have to be, don’t I? Why would I have dreamt that otherwise?”
“Well, maybe you saw it on the—”
“I have a gift. Wow. I should buy a National Lottery ticket right now. Tell me some numbers.”
“If you’re the psychic one, then you have to come up with the numbers.”
“I remember reading that so many people pick that combination they’d only win around four hundred pounds if all six numbers came up.”
“What? No one thinks 1,2,3,4,5,6 will come up.”
“They obviously do.”
“Now I don’t feel gifted at all.” Jonty sagged, then perked up. “Four hundred pounds, less the cost of the ticket, would buy a lot of Flakes.”
“You don’t need to buy any.”
“You don’t know me at all,” Jonty wailed.
“How much do you love me?”
“Is that a trick question?” Jonty’s hand slid to Devan’s erection. “Because I can tell you love me a lot.”
“Do you love me more than a Flake?”
“Of course I do. I’d give up my last Flake to save your life, assuming your life was really in danger. I hope a bear would rather have a Flake than eat you because I’d definitely throw one if a bear was chasing you. Do I have a last Flake? I’m pretty sure I ate it yesterday. Why did you let me eat it?” Jonty whinged.
“Because I’d have lost my fingers if I’d tried to stop you.”
“I did give you a mouthful.”
“You did and it was lovely.”
“I shared my last Flake. I think I’d like that on my tombstone above Devan should have learned how to make Flakes and Jonty would still be alive.”
Devan laughed. “Much as I like what you’re doing with your hand, I think this is the perfect time to do a little treasure hunt.”
“Two thirty in the morning. The perfect time! Except you’d rather I do a treasure hunt than play with your lovely cock? I’m a failure. I’m so devastated. I feel empty. Of Flakes.”
Devan reached into the bedside drawer on his side and pulled out a square of paper. “The first clue. I’ll just have a little nap while you go on a hunt.”
Jonty read it. “Have you heard the news? The next clue can be found where we put our…” He sighed. “Put our what?”
Devan groaned and Jonty nudged him. “Put our what?”
“Work it out. And don’t wake the dogs up.”
“Our booze.” Jonty sprung out of bed and bolted to the kitchen. Not in the cupboard. He went back to Devan. “Doos, foos, goos, hoos, moos, poos. Eww. Poos? Really?”
“Shoes,” Devan practically shouted. “Work the clues out yourself. Quietly.”
Jonty ran to the shoe rack, found the next clue and took it back to the bedroom. “They come in pairs and rhyme with clocks.” He burrowed under the duvet to Devan’s cock. “There’s nothing here and I’d have noticed a clue on mine.”
“Socks,” Devan mumbled.
Jonty leapt out of the bed and pulled open Devan’s sock drawer. “Another clue. This is fun. Isn’t it fun?”
“I was assuming you’d do it at a respectable time of the day while I read the paper.”
“But I want the treasure now. I’m all excited. Right. The clue. We’d get no light unless you pick the thing that holds a mighty… dick? These are very raunchy clues. And I’ve already searched your dick.” Jonty went through the entire alphabet and finally reached wick. He climbed over Devan to get to the candle on the chest of drawers. “Ah ha.”
“I give in. The treasure is under the bed.”
Jonty climbed over Devan again, even though he didn’t need to. Then bent over, his bare arse in the air and reached under the bed. When he couldn’t feel anything, he slid a little lower so he could look and saw a package on Devan’s side. He slid over Devan again, leaving his bare backside close to Devan’s face and pulled up a wrapped box.
Devan kissed his bum as Jonty levered himself back to Devan’s side. Jonty made short work of the paper and squealed when he saw the box of Flakes.
“How did you know what my nightmare was about? How did you know I was going to have a nightmare? How did you know there was going to be a Flake shortage? I am in awe of your wondrousness.”
Jonty kissed the box. “I love you so much.” Kiss. “You are so beautiful.” Kiss. “And tasty.” Kiss.
Then he set the box aside. “Answer me now, oh fabulous true psychic one.”
“I read there was a shortage of Flakes and immediately went and bought four boxes.”
“Where are the other three?”
“I’m not telling you. Make the first box last. I had no idea you were going to have a nightmare or what it would be about. I’d planned the treasure hunt for tomorrow morning. I was going to break the news of the shortage to you, then give you the first clue. If I was psychic, I’d have anticipated you’d wake me in a panic at some God-awful time in the morning. But I didn’t.”
Jonty slid on top of him. “You are the best boyfriend ever. Are you awake now?”
Devan wrapped his hands around Jonty’s arse. “Yes.”
“I’m too excited to go straight back to sleep.”
“I can tell.”
Jonty wriggled against him. “All I can think about is… Waking up and sucking a Flake.”
Devan growled and pushed Jonty down. “Find something else to put in your mouth.”
“Can I have a Flake after?”